Reading rates in 2022

 

Who still reads anymore you ask?
Your nan, just her your and nobody else. Wipe those tears, it’s all right, you can still read if you want to. It’s just that nowadays it’s gone out of fashion. People want to look at Instagram and watch the videos change every 5 seconds. Someone’s doing a triple backflip and then baking a cake and woop, a meerkat is teaching a dolphin how to drive a truck, how can books compete?

They’re what celery is to Reese’s peanut buttercups. Especially if you’re a zoomer and you haven’t got anything tying your childhood memories to them.

Don’t worry, we’ll just watch Netflix till death, ingesting corporate-approved morale into our hypnotised brains. Half asleep anything goes in. Not dystopian at all.

Infinite Jest and War and Peace will be forgotten, joining the dinosaur bones. Hello to the age of watching the new Ariana Grande 2-second clip grinding against a backup dancer. That’s not new, Britney did that in 99, it’s just new to Penguin classics.

We have time for audiobooks in the car if we want to be smart, or sound smart at least. I heard an ad the other day about auidofy or whatever it’s called, ‘Want to have more to talk about at dinner parties?’. Maybe for all ages, the point of reading was to appear smart. This is why rich people never read books unless they’re Bill Gates. They do read books.

I love literature, I love it so much that I don’t read it. One day I hope to have read all the penguin books. Be up to date like.

Writing is to digest, but writing about writing is a mistake. Similar to a chef cooking a meal about chefing, but not a lot of people know that.

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